Music as a Love Language – “This Song Reminds Me of You”
February 14, 2025
Writer: Maya Amman
Editor: Rachel Roseberg
The summer after my junior year of high school, I went on a 4th of July trip to Solomon’s Island, Maryland. I was crammed into a car with my best friends as we passed around the aux, playing our favorite summer songs to pass the time. Someone put on a song by Eric Church I had not heard until that moment. From that point on, “Springsteen” became the song of our incredible summer, filled with endless memories.
Each time I listen to a new song, I pay careful attention to the lyrics. “When I think about you, I think about seventeen… funny how a melody sounds like a memory, like the soundtrack to a July Saturday night.” Those lyrics echo in my mind every time I reflect on that weekend. There we were, seventeen, driving towards what I would remember forever as the trip that cemented our friend group, on a July Saturday night.
There is no better feeling than listening to a song for the first time, finding it applies perfectly to the situation you’re currently in. Whether it’s the happy memory of the summer “Springsteen” reminds me of, or the painstaking feeling of developing an unrequited crush “Risk” by Gracie Abrams evokes, followed by listening to “Foolish One” by Taylor Swift after the crush didn’t work out. Connecting with a song so personally is the most validating feeling. Realizing that not only the artist you admire has been in a similar position, but that the same feeling is experienced by the millions of people who have also streamed the song countless times.
The former choir/band kid in me can appreciate a song for its musicality. Exceptional vocals, a good guitar riff, or a bass line that hits the right spot can seal a song into my brain forever. However, what really allows me to appreciate a song, is its display of intentional lyricism. With every lyric I hear, I draw meaning from my life, causing me to resonate with a song on a deep personal level.
Each song is like a love letter. I find shelter and serenity in music. Music can raise feelings of sadness & heartache, happiness & warmth. It can ignite hope or provide comfort. More than anything, music stirs nostalgia. When I hear a song, I am immediately transported back to the first listen or the happy memory associated. I remember who first introduced me to the song, where I was when I heard the first note, and who was there experiencing the song with me. I can recall the temperature outside, the smell of the air, and what I was exactly doing in the moment.
It is common to associate a song with a particular season of life. When most people think about the song “All Too Well (10 Minute Version),” they reminisce on fall of 2021, how the crisp air paired perfectly with the autumnal theme of the album. People reflect back on who came to mind when screaming the song at the top of their lungs. When I think back on that song, I feel nostalgic for the crisp fall of my senior year—blaring it through open car windows while driving with my friends to football games, the cool night air rushing in, or letting it play softly in the background as I hunched over my laptop, lost in the stress and excitement of college applications. Three years later, living with my roommate and best friend Margo, I realized how that song had followed me through time in unexpected ways. Since its release, we had both unknowingly used it to measure increments of productivity—motivating ourselves with phrases like ‘let’s be productive for five more All Too Wells’ or ‘let’s exercise for three All Too Wells.’ It surprises me that most of my experiences with my favorite songs are, in some ways, unoriginal: the nostalgic memories and routines I associate with “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)” are shared not just with my friends and peers, but even with strangers on the other side of the country.
Shared nostalgia is almost a better feeling than simply having my own personal connection to a song. Knowing that when “Murder On the Dancefloor” comes on at a pregame, late night, or even a roommate dance party, everyone is immediately transported back to winter of second year when that song played on repeat. Whether we are mid-conversation or already on the dance floor, hearing the intro to that song slowly filters the memories into our minds collectively, preparing to scream every lyric, reminded of the happiness that was that season of our lives.
Intentionally sharing a song with someone however, creates a different sense of shared nostalgia. Introducing your favorite song to someone you care about is a vulnerable experience. First, there is unease surrounding whether or not the person likes the song that means so much to you. If they enjoy it, there’s a chance that that song will become a part of your relationship with that person. You’ll start to put the song on whenever you hang out together, watching them slowly gain a deeper appreciation for its meaning as they learn more and more of the lyrics. All too soon, that song begins to remind you of them. The song will come on and you start to play a montage in your mind of all the times you experienced that song together. The most vulnerable part about the process is the chance that you may not have this person in your life forever. Then, a song that used to remind you of all of the beautiful parts of a human being turns into a painful or bittersweet memory that you are reminded of every time the song comes on.
I always regret showing someone a meaningful song too soon. I fear they will eventually leave me and all the happiness I associate with the song will go with them. Almost every song I have ever loved, can be associated with a person in my life that I have loved. Though placing that much meaning on a song can be vulnerable in so many ways, I will never stop thinking of the people that I care about when I hear a specific guitar riff or an eloquently written bridge. I own a sweatshirt that lists all of the many ways to express to someone that you love them. Written in big bold letters on the front it says “This Song Reminds Me of You.” Everytime I wear it, someone eventually asks me what song reminds me of them, and to their surprise I will unearth a song that the two of us shared at one point in time. Throughout all of the seasons of my life, music has always been my love language, and I will always be able to recall what song reminds me of you.
